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Sunday, December 7, 2008

Chapter 6 (don't forget to read the authors note below this post)

I raced down the road on the path way to the emergency room. I could hear the moan of Jake every time I sped across a bump in the road.



"I'm so sorry sweetie, I wish I could go fast AND avoid bumps, but unfortunately, I can't"

"It's okay, you don't have to go to the-ah-emergency room"

"Yes, we do! I can see the pain in your eyes, and your going to pass this off as an "owie"! You did not fall of the swings" I felt kinda bad as I spat the words to him like a mother



I could see in my rear view mirror that Nate and Sara were speeding right behind.And then I heard the startling ring of my cell phone. As I reached for it, a deer jumped in front of the car! I mean how could this day get any worse! My tires screeched as I swerved and stopped. When I got out of the car it reeked of burning rubber.Nate was standing, looking at the patronized deer lying on the road.As I walked up I could sense he was upset, "So, is he dead or just surprised?"
"I think it's just surprised..." He was just staring at it, like it was a freak at a freak show
"Should we move it off the road?"
"Yeah, but we're gonna need help" He raised his eyebrows and looked at Jake's beat up old car.
"NO WAY NATE! You KNOW he's hurt!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.
"Oh, really. Well you didn't see this picture..."
He held his phone that shown brightly on the screen, a picture of Jake leaning over in pain, with an evil smurk on his face.
"No Nate, he didn't lie!He wouldn't do that to me"
"Well guess what, look at the evidence!"
He shook the picture.
"How Da-"
"Hey guys, are we gonna move this thing or what?" Sara said as she walked up.
"Yeah" As I said this,I glared at Nate to tell him that the conversation wasn't over.
When we started pushing it over, it started to get up.So we just lead it across the street.
I got in the car.Silence.
"Jake,tell me the truth.Are you hurt?"
"No"
"God Dammit! Why do insist on lying!?!"I got out of the car and stormed over to Nates car.
"I'm sorry I denied you so quickly Nate."I said when he rolled down the window.
"It's alright.I knew you'd find out!"
I got in the car.

14 comments:

Seth said...

holy crap. nice! i like it!

Angel Wings said...

When I finish it I might publish it!

Anonymous said...

Language.
Only problem.
Take it out… and you've got your self a good story.

Angel Wings said...

Do you mean the one measly word???

She was angry!

Anonymous said...

One word is all it takes for your story to go from best seller, to sitting in the back of the library for 30 years until someone decides to throw it out because nobody would check it out.
You should say: For God's Sake stop lying!!
Jake, you know your hurt!
That's what you should say instead of the D word.
Stuff like OMG is OK… in books, but not the D word.

Anonymous said...

Sorry I have to stop following you, but I'll still keep in touch.

Anonymous said...

hello peoples reading this!
please email me any of ur questions/comments to
avainsnickers@aol.com
and i will video tape them and put them on my website.
the website name is
mailbagpenguin.webs.com
also, dont reply to this comment cuz i dont come back to these blogs unless they are one of my main blogs. i probably just found yours through other blogs...so, yeah.

Marilyn said...

This is great keep going!!

Maddiee <3 said...

Oh my lord i love it you should so publish it

Count Gaara said...

nice......I like he battle between them..

Angel Wings said...

Uh...who are YOU? Never seen you before...

Count Gaara said...

Meh????I go on Seth's blog...I heard you were wrighting a book...
It caught my atention cause I'm wrighting one too....My real name is Heather....

Zaniac said...

I like it.
Gunther, tons of children's book have some bad language and they are still bestsellers!
I see where you're going, but I mean, it's not always like that.

Anonymous said...

I know, I'm was just mad.
Put what ever you want into it.
If it's published, I might even buy it.